Balancing work and LO

heatherbee710

I went back to work 3 weeks ago as a special education teacher. I have an extremely challenging class, and this is my first year with an actual teaching position. Every day I feel like I am barely getting through the day with all the behaviors I have going on, and I feel like I am so behind in getting things done that really need to be done. I always bring work home, and I am constantly up late working on plans and such.

I feel like I am constantly stressed out as a mom. My house is a disaster and it makes me want to cry. I hate having to send my son to daycare (even if its family, so I know I can trust them). Today he had a tummy ache (he is on medicine for an ear infection and it has been giving him diarrhea) and was screaming for so long that my babysitter had to call my husband to go check on him and make sure he didn't think anything else was wrong with him. He calmed down once my husband was there to cuddle him, thankfully, but when I heard that he cried for so long, it broke my heart and made me cry. I hate that I wasn't there with him when he was in pain  

I always thought I would be the kind of person who would love to be at work, and even though I enjoy my job (most of the time),  I'm finding myself constantly bitter, resentful and upset about not being home with my son. I just keep waiting for it to get better but I don't think it is. Am I expecting too much after only 3 weeks?