Tell me sweet little lies...

estreyas

I've been thinking about this since I started reading some "I have to do X with Y group, how do I avoid it because I'm pregnant?" posts in various communities. I'm not innocent of this situation, either, but I'm wondering if it's possible to get a discussion going on it...

 Why do many of us (pregnant women) feel that it's necessary to lie (through omission or directly) about being pregnant?

Is it because of the fear of miscarriage in the first trimester? Is it because we want to surprise people later with an announcement? Is it that we don't want to deal with the consequences in a social environment we don't control? Pressure from peers about what you have to do, should do, can't do? Worry about how bosses/family will react, and want to push that off as long as possible?

 

I know in my case, I'm nervous about miscarriage, and don't want to stir up too much excitement before I've hit the second trimester. I also don't want to make the kids at the school my husband teaches at freak out. We had one teacher whose wife got pregnant, and they left to go back to their home country; some of the kids felt quite abandoned and hurt that the teacher was cutting his contract short and only completing 1 year rather than 2, and was giving them less than two months' notice (the school had more, but the kids didn't).

 Still, while I'm not announcing it, it will eventually come into play earlier than I might "like" - have to discuss with my Kathak teacher if I'll be allowed to dance through the third trimester or if I'll have to stop early; can I perform (recital a month before my EDD)? I'll have to decide/discuss that within the next month? well before Week 12.