XP from 12-24: BFP - I hate the way I feel right now

FullHeartMama

Just got a BFP and I'm completely in shock. It took us a long time to get pregnant with DS, and we were taking precautions, but probably were not as careful as we should have been.

My hands are absolutely shaking right now. I just started a new job and am still getting on my feet with it. Money is tight right now, but we're making it. I work part time from home and take care of DS at the same time. My hands are full right now, but perhaps things will change when I've had time to adjust to the idea.

My mind is just racing right now. DH and I were just discussing the fact that we both feel like we're ready to bring another LO into the family, but now that this is a reality, I'm not exactly feeling like jumping for joy. I feel so terrible about this. Things are in such a transition right now - we're talking about selling the house, DH taking another job, moving out of state to be closer to my family and friends, and me going back to teaching in the Fall - I can't accept a new job knowing I'll be out on ML...

I'm still nursing DS and right now, so I'm not sure how things will change now. He's the center of our world. I'm terrified of what it will be like when another LO arrives. 

I'm sorry this is all over the place. I haven't told a soul (DH is still at work) and I think I'm just looking for some sort of reassurance. The contrast between how I felt when I got my BFP with DS and how I feel right now is completely blowing my mind. I'm thrilled, but so terrified at the same time. Has anyone else been in my shoes?

Thank you so much for getting through this and for any advice you may be able to offer.

EDIT: I'm sorry. I feel like I'm TOTALLY raining all over the 1st tri parade.  Last time I was here, I was really happy!