rollercoaster... please advise

devilredronni2

Back at the end of December I had a miscarriage. It was handled very poorly and coldly by the doctor and staff of her office. Since I found a new doctor that I like a great deal. Got a positive on HPT on March 31st. According to my LMP I would be almost 8 weeks at the first appt. on April 25th,last wednesday. I have had nausea sporadically (more than last time) and constant fatigue (more than last time) and constant breast tenderness (about same as last time). I feel so very pregnant. So I was excited to go to the doctor (this would be a first since I hate to go normally), just knowing in my heart that things were good this time. We did ultrasound first and the tech made sad faces and asked if I was sure about date of LMP. She said that I was either wrong about my dates, being that she only saw a gestational sac that when measured would mean I was only 5 weeks 3days, or that the pregnancy had terminated at 5wks3d. She said it might be a blighted ovum and the nurse would talk to me more. The tech seemed to focus on what she thought was probably bad. The nurse seemed to give me about a 50/50 shot that would only be determined by blood work and repeat blood work. I went home with such a feeling of fog. I cried my eyes out then went on-line. Many stories of how ovulation happens at different times which can put dates all whacky. This was a bit reassuring since I determined that my period is short and cycle is long which could definitely make sense that I wasn't as far as I thought. So I pulled it together went back to work. Talked it out with friend after work who put a positive light on the situation. Thursday i called to get results from bloodwork . The nurse said the number was so great 8818 for HCG that they didn't need to repeat blood work on Friday. I have appt scheduled for repeat ultrasound tomorrow, Tuesday. Here's where I get a little nuts. Was feeling cautiously optimistic till last night. I had crazy freaky dreams that made for a very restless sleep. Dreams from  them needing a urine sample and me not being able to pee to dreams of giving birth to a black baby(which wouldn't be bad except that my husband and I are not black) who was also deaf and blind to dreams of them pulling a tiny ugly dog out of a cabinet and saying that since I couldn't have a human child I could have this thing instead. Now I'm feeling crappy from not really sleeping and terrified that I won't see progress on tomorrow's ultrasound. Any advice....?