Had a heart to heart with DH last night...(long)

Babybear70

actually we have been having  alot of those lately. Blame it on hormones i guess...hehehe. But we sat down last night and talked for a bit about how I was feeling in regards to after the baby gets here. I'm nervous of course, and I've done enough research to know what I would like our plan to be so that settles me a little right there. But then people ask me "Well what do you plan to do about this?" or "what are you going to do about that?" then they say "Oh your life is going to change" and "if you did this it would make it so much easier on you"....I guess I just dont' understand why people out there feel like it is their civil duty to fill me in on how much my life is going to change, and try to give me the impression that what I plan to do with my child is going to make me a bad mother. That if I don't sacrifice every shred of who I am and who our family is just to evolve our lives around the baby that we are going to totally screw up the child for life. Isn't the point of having kids to show them who you are and incorporate them into your life as it stands now? Yea, there are going to be sacrifices, but I see no reason why I or we would have to cease doing EVERYTHING we do on a normal basis just because we have a baby.

Maybe I give too much detail when I answer the question...maybe I should just come back with "we are working on it" Or "we haven't figured that out yet" just to get me out of hock so I don't have to listen to their banter about how awful this is going to be. I just want to look at them and say "I know this is going to be hard, and I'm not out to make it easy on myself. I'm here to make it the best for my child, and if that means that I have to make it a little more difficult on myself for the better of my baby then that is what I will do. It is called sacrifice.

Maybe this is FTM syndrome, but I'm just really tired of all the nay-sayers out there who think that this is like the end of the world for me and that I will no longer be who I am. I know I'm going to change some just because the situation will need me to adapt, but that doesn't mean that I have to stop doing everything that makes me ME! Basically DH told me to stop listening to what others have to say if the advice is unwarrented. If I ask for advice or your opinion then I will gladly take what you say into consideration. But anyone else who is just flinging stuff out there for the sake of saying "oh I've been here before" I don't want to hear it. It stresses me out and makes things worse.

I hope this doesn't come across as offensive to you girls, that isn't my intention. I just needed to get it off my chest to you ladies who I'm sure feel some of my pain. I love reading the advice that you girls give because I can either take it or leave it and that is nice. It isn't so easy when it comes from people you see everyday. I guess that is what I'm getting at. Thanks for listening to my ongoing blathering......love to you all.