Waiting for my grandma to die

etoyama

About a month ago I posted that my grandma, who lives just down the street had 3-6 month to live. She has Acute Leukemia and Parkinson's. You were all so kind in sending T&Ps, and I thank you for that.

A little ove 2 weeks ago things took a turn for the worse. My grandma had to be confined to her bed (Hospice is involved). My aunt quit her nursing job to move in with my grandparents and take care of my grandma 24/7. My mother has also spent the last week and a half living with them and taking care of things. The Hospice nurse comes every day as well. It's just a matter of time. I have also spent nearly all of my free time down at the house providing moral support and doing what I can (which was tough when I was supposed to be on bed rest). 

My grandma, as it turns out is a tough lady and she's taking a really long time to die. Every day that the nurse comes she says she can't believe she's still with us. She's been having seizures (6 on Tuesday alone) and had a stroke on Sunday, but every time she comes back and now she's communicating again, which is actually making things a lot harder emotionally. It's especially hard on my grandpa, who can't do anything but watch her die.

I am in just such a weird place with all of this. My mom, aunt, grandpa and I have really been the only people involved directly in the situation and we are all exhausted. Not knowing how long this is going to go on for makes it so much harder. It's more stressful than I imagined it would be. My OB thinks the situation may have contributed to why I was having so many contractions. Don't get me wrong, I am taking care of myself, and I'm sleeping at my own house and everything. It's just emotionally hard. At this point we are all just desperate for her to go in peace because the waiting and watching her suffer is just torture. 

Thanks for letting me vent. I really needed to get that out there.